Valentine Bluff #3. Don’t promise anything

 One of the best movies of all time would have to be the 1946 classic It’s a Wonderful Life. Directed by Frank Capra, starred in by James Stewart, Donna Reed, and Lionel Barrymore. The movie was significant like most films of that era for delivering the most unforgettable lines in film history. One of several from the movie was George Baily offering Mary Hatch the moon:


What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”


This immortal line quickly became cliché within romantic circles and couples in promising physically impossible feats and offerings to present their beloved. Soon, all manner of celestial bodies fell prey to the sentiment. First the stars, then inevitably of course the sun, galaxies, even the concept of infinity became a physical bargaining chip as if infinity was an object within the comprehension of every romantic layman that decided it to be within their power to offer when their respective attention spans can be measured in less than five minutes.

The sentiment has been repeated laboriously in the following decades that it has almost lost all meaning. However, even today women of all ages, intelligence, financial status, race, religion, or creed still continuously fall for the ludicrous un-substantiated lip service that offers nothing in way of actual feeling or romantic sentiment besides boasting of doing impossible feats that he will never do anyway.

It becomes an exercise of pandering or in the local vernacular ‘pambobola’. It’s not a compliment, it has no meaning, it delivers no actual feeling, and proposes the impossible that the proposer has no intention of ever achieving or try to achieve.

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing personal against promising impossibilities especially if it allows the person to reach his/her goal of successfully courting his/her suitor. But therein lies an ugly possibility that if and when courtship is successful would not the entire relationship be built upon dressed up fantasies of lassoing the moon and stars, or in other words lies.

Moreso if the relationship that began as the result of succesful courtship via indiscriminate pandering falls so spectacularly short of expectations and actually run the negative or the complete opposite of what was promised. Instead of bringing the moon and the stars and the other celestial bodies we have in the solar system you instead ground her face into an odorous sea of muck and disease that would take divine intervention to save her from.

Sea of muck and disease of course being a metaphor for the usual ordinary problems faced by couples on a day to day basis. However, I do not exaggerate, if a relationship was built on actual shared experience all the normal everyday problems like the occasional high bills, interfering in-laws, disgusting bathroom habits, suspicions of affairs and all manner of pet peeves would be solved without incident.

Which is only the tip of the iceberg becausee of the derth of shared experience you have essentially no idea who exactly your partner is and will have no one to blame but yourself when, after all is said and done and you are trapped in a conjugal contract that current laws make it nearly impossible to escape withut proper funds, your partner suddenly turns violent brought on by innumerous vices he need no longer hide.

It is ironic that instead of inheriting the promise George Bailey you instead receive the heavens like U.S. President Harry S. Truman did in the 1995 TV biopic Truman:


I don’t know if any of you have had a bale of hay fall on you. Well, I feel like the sun, the stars and all the planets just fell on me. Don’t expect too much of me.”


If you bring down the heavens they might just fall on you. Don’t promise the impossible if all you can deliver is a serious migraine or an early grave.


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