Past, present, WTF! aka the future


We were talking about Rizals 150th birthday at work and all of a sudden we were talking Aguinaldo and if he an Rizal talked, what did they talk about?

Rizal: Oi heneral

Aguinaldo: Oi Pepe. Napakinggan mo na ba si Charice?

Rizal: Di pa. Buhay na ba yun?

Aguinaldo: Kahit yung lola di pa yata eh. pero angganda ng album niya.

Rizal: Talaga? Halika pakinggan natin.

Aguinaldo: Sige, kuha tayo ng plaka.

Rizal: Naimbento na ba yun?

Aguinaldo: Di pa rin yata.

Rizal: Eh ano pinaguusapan natin?

Aguinaldo: Si Charice.

Rizal: Eh hindi pa nga buhay mga ninuno niya eh

Del Pilar: Ganun ka astig si Heneral. Kahit di pa nangyayari alam na niya kaagad.

Rizal&Aguinaldo: Greg?! Patay ka na di ba.

Del Pilar: Oo, bakit?

Rizal: Nevermaynd

Aguinaldo: Bahala ka nga sa kabilang buhay mo.

-The End-

Now for the future. And this part is real, taken from a report from GMA News.

“Lovesick couples living oceans apart may soon get to share a kiss more realistic than the flying kisses they give each other during video chats.

Japan’s Kajimoto Laboratory at the University of Electro-Communications is doing research on a device which can effectively transmit the feeling of a kiss.

“If you take one device in your mouth and turn it with your tongue, the other device turns in the same way. If you turn it back the other way, then your partner’s turns back the same way, so your partner’s device turns whichever way your own device turns,” an article on the Cool Gadgets website quoted the inventors as saying.

According to the inventors, the device works by motor rotations, and one controls the rotation positions via a personal computer.

Through bilateral control, the turn angle information is sent reciprocally by both devices to maintain the same position.

“Right now the values are handled by one PC, but if a system is put together to handle the values over a network, then it would be easy for this operation to be conducted remotely,” the inventors said.

Another website, Diginfo.TV, said that the position values can also be recorded, and the kiss information for different individuals can be freely replayed.

“For example, if you have a popular entertainer use this device and record it, that could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans,” it quoted the inventors as saying.

“The elements of a kiss include the sense of taste, the manner of breathing, and the moistness of the tongue. If we can recreate all of those I think it will be a really powerful device,” it added.

According to its web page, Kajimoto Laboratory is focused on human interface research, “mainly on tactile sensation.”

Do you have any idea what this means?! Geeks can kiss their idols without even having to leave their cave-like dumpsite bedrooms that smell heavily of sperm. The definition of a whory skank will have to rebooted to exclude torridly kissing a hundred people simultaneously.

Of course theres the positive side too where OFWs can satisfy their building mountains of pent-up lust away from their spouses. Sure its just a kiss but physical contact (even through a machine) can go a long way in preserving their sanity and their ever so fragile marriages.

But what comes next?! A lot of people have been asking that question. Well, you know bloody well what next! Cyber sex will no longer be a descriptive term. Lets face it, if they can create a machine that can imitate the complicated motion and rotations of the tongue and lips they can sure as hell do the same with a hole and a meat stick. All you have to do is hook up your upgraded vibrator or fleshlight to the internet and BAM you’re doing the nasty with…a shorter list would be who you wouldn’t do it with (by shorter I mean there would be no list(pervert (not judging, I’m one too))). And the kicker is the prostitution would be rampant since cyber sex laws haven’t been finalized to cover those yet. And who expects the government to monitor all the porn and adult chat sites that are gonna provide the service?

Gone were the days when Romeo called to Juliets balcony in the night. So do the ways of lovers who trespass into their beloveds home for a quickie. I ‘m not gonna go into a tirade about how this is possibly another erosion of the values of love and interpersonal relations etc. etc. blah blah but I won’t since I don’t specifically care.

The motel business is going to go bankrupt in five, no, three years after this is possible. having sex or an affair would be so laughably easy only a brainless shit would remain a virgin by the time he’s fourteen.

Sex conquers continents. Now that’s an idea.

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