Welcome graduates

First of all, Congratulations to all our graduates!

Really, I’m not kidding. Graduation is a transition from one level to another, a sort of upgrade if you will, proving that you are advancing in your life. And every graduation ceremony is special whether it be for elementary, high-school or college.

More than you, it’s even more important event for parents. There is no greater feeling than knowing all the time and work invested in a person that more often than not is causing more headaches than a jack hammer to the skull and a bigger drain on the wallet than a Wall Street bear on a rampage is finally paying off and that not having an abortion may not have been such a bad idea.

Graduation symbolizes both endings and beginnings. This is especially true for college graduates to whom this article is specially directed. You deserve these congratulations even more if you’ve made it this far without getting (or getting someone) pregnant. On second thought no you don’t, coz if you can’t even muster enough brain cells to keep your legs closed or keep your boners in your pants (or even at the very least buying condom) then a college degree is probably just a wishful fantasy for you.

Anyway, back on track. Graduation is the end of a lot of things. Like carefree tambayan, kwentuhan, and gala time. On the upside it’s the end of homework, quizzes, requirements, projects and finals which is a big plus.

And there are beginnings. Like finding actual work whose load more often than not will be so huge because of your fresh grad status that no one will respect you enough to give you any leeway that you have to take a lot of it home, big time projects that will actually mean something because they will hinge on actual assets like money (lots of it), performance reviews that will spring at you from out of nowhere because work is about serving the business and not the employee.

And this is assuming if you even find a job (and if you’re a fresh grad at this point in time unless you have connections you won’t).

You’ve unwittingly joined the ranks of the hundred upon thousands of unlucky bastards who wait in line for hours for that one job interview (or if you’re a lazy bum at a game show) that will finally change your life. Probably not making it, bouncing from one place to another without luck, gradually losing hope and settling for a job that you didn’t study for and is probably beneath your educational achievement (which by now is just a fancy piece of paper that states how smart you think you are, not how smart you actually are (meant as an insult by the way)) but still hoping that through hard work you can make it and achieve your dreams.

But corruption saps all the coffers and little by little the reality of your situation saps all of the idealist energy that were so painstakingly entrusted to you by your mentors and parents and little by little you become content where you are, scratching what they can to feed yourself and (if you haven’t thought far ahead enough) your family. Passively living from day-to-day, paycheck to paycheck having given up on your dreams of becoming a famous master of your craft. Periodically complaining about the state of the world while simultaneously not doing anything to change it and more often than not contributing to the very same problem.

But don’t worry some are luckier. Maybe some of your peers and classmates really do get far and realize their dreams and you’d be honored just by knowing them. Then you’ll die, quietly, no one mourns for you except family and close friends. Forgotten after a year or two not really making an impact on society as you’d hoped when you first walked through your schools front doors.

So Welcome graduates you just transferred from the prospective youth, future and hope of our nation to the unemployed and incurable drain on our economy that society is better off without.

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