Imbak para sa Pebrero, 2011

Cleaning what with what?

Posted in Gulo ng buhay with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 28, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

A bold statement and a difficult request was given to the Metro Manila Development Agency (MMDA) by the President last Saturday. “I want you to clean Metro Manila Singapore style”.

Which just goes to show that the man elected by the people to govern isn’t completely incompetent. This isn’t an insult I’m just saying that his heart is in the right place even though his brain isn’t.

More than the proposal though this plan has less substance than the smoke I exhale, in the context that there isn’t even a plan yet. Knowing what needs to be done and knowing how one goes about doing it are two completely different things and you need to master the second before even thinking about hoping to get to the first.

At this point until a plan is proposed, tested and executed I’m not getting my hopes up for the Metro.

Hold on, I’m not being completely fair. Never mind that implementation of law is the one thing our authorities suck so much at (I dare anyone to contest this). They have a semblance of a plan which is tapping “environmental enforcers” to strictly implement existing laws that criminalize litter bugs.

The term ‘tapping’ is hilarious to me because it sounds like the government is planning to fuck enforcers into implementing laws. Though I should tell them now that won’t work because they’ll just jump off a train platform before the gov’t even gets to them. Maybe that’s why that guy committed suicide earlier today. Damn, they work fast when it comes to that.

But back to sanity, tapping is still murky to me. Does it mean that they’ll be hiring people to act as enforcers? If so, what’s the scope of their authority? Can they punish or arrest people? What qualifications are needed to become one? If they’re not hiring do they already have people assigned to that? Where were they all along? Why did they lie dormant until now? Or, will they be taking people already in authority and place their duties specifically on clean-ups? Will they have their own department? Will this mean an increase in taxes to implement?

So many questions on just one word! Isn’t it lovely how effective the English language is to the purposes of ambiguity. Maybe that’s why our Constitution and most of our legal officers and courts use it. So no one knows quite what the fuck anyone is talking about, and even if some people know they can’t be sure, and even if they are sure it could easily twisted and turned into a hundred different meanings and references.

Not to mention that this proposal has revealed a stark reality in our governing officials. That they are blissfully unaware of the gravity and type of problem facing the Metro. Cleanliness in this mega-city isn’t degrading solely on the backs of litter bugs and spitters.

Take a walk at any time of the day and the pavement will be lined with the splattered remains of most-of-the-time-dry feces (and when you venture out at night I cannot guarantee that they belong to dogs).

If that doesn’t bother you solid waste isn’t the only bodily excrement lounging in full display on the streets. Some food for thought; when people have nowhere to live where do you they go to pee or have sex hmm?

It amuses me to no end when people are so disgusted to even talk about such discharges when every time you jay walk you’re ankle-deep in it.

Fact: If tianaks were real they’d take over the banks of the Pasig and most parts of Aurora Boulevard and EDSA.

Having said all this, yeah, if you step on something while on commute pray that it’s just spit.


The perfect solution

Posted in Gulo ng buhay, Neurotics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 25, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

An ever ensuing problem within the country that doesn’t seem to have a solution is the one of over-population and poverty.

Analysts have found a link between the two (over-population leads to poverty) which makes sense. More players intensifies competition and because of limited opportunities the contest result in more losers while the winners fight tooth and nail to retain their positions and climb ever higher.

Therefore, the government tried to cut the problem at its root with the RH Bill but because of staunch opposition by the Church and their robotic followers that’s really not going anywhere. Apparently controlling kalaswaan is more important than education about a fundamental function of life and controlling an all too real defect in our society that is crippling the economy from ever moving forward.

So, I propose a compromise. Since the church doesn’t want to educate the masses or protect them from their own sexual tendencies brought about by professional idleness it’s time to cut the line, literally.

Instead of providing condoms for the poor and sexual education for future generations the government should divert funds to the “Cut all our losses” program.

The program states that any adult or sexually mature male who lives or is living under the poverty line or living below $1.00 a day must be neutered and spayed. This procedure will ensure that they will never be able to sire any progeny. It’s natural family planning at its best!

No condoms for young people. No sex education for children. And because there’s no conception, no abortion either. It’s perfect!

Since the poorest of the poor can’t multiply explosively (their only redeeming feature) they will slowly die out. BAM! I solved poverty. And because of certain programs already in place we can identify the poorest of the poor or at least the ones posing as the poorest of the poor.

It is in the hopes that this program will not only curb population growth but inspire those in the border line to work towards a better life to avoid the measure.

You’re welcome government. You’re welcome Church.

And if anyone is even thinking of toeing the church line that over-population doesn’t exist and that it’s only a matter of population density. Riddle me this. Where do you propose people live. Forests? Mountains? Well, they can’t since they’re considered natural resources and shouldn’t be meddled with. A large percentage of the country’s environment has gone to urban development and housing resulting in loss of wildlife, pollution and opening vulnerabilities to natural disasters like flash floods and earthquakes; and the Church is proposing more of it?

Things that piss me off

Posted in Neurotics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 24, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

It is an undeniable fact that there are things that just get on our nerves for no reason. So, I’ve compiled all the things that make my blood boil and searched for reasons to hate them.

1. People who lean on the metal poles of trains – Seriously, even when there’s a fuckload of people flooding in they just lean their sweaty backs on the goddamn poles. I’m squished in like a sardine and I need to hold on to something so I don’t lose my balance you fucking jag-off.In times when I finally can’t stand them and push them out-of-the-way THEY have the nerve to get angry. You’re inconveniencing at least five other people to satisfy your MTV emo moment you stupid tool.

2. Bishops – For guys who swear to never have sex they preach a hell of a lot on the subject. Usually, when trying to get information on a topic I go to people who are considered experts on the field, not the guys who swear never to go into that field.

3. Koreans – I don’t get why they’re so popular. I really don’t.

4. People who put other things in urinals – The reason they’re called urinals is because their depositories of urine. NOTHING ELSE! NOT SPIT, NOT CANDY WRAPPERS, AND DEFINITELY NOT SHIT!

5. Children – They’re so fucking noisy. Screaming and crying for no reason, seriously every time a kid throws a tantrum in the train or the jeep I wanna kick his head in. Everyone’s thinking it, they all want to do it too.

6. Teenagers – They think they know so fucking much about the world that they demand everyone (no exceptions) to look at things their way because they’re the “new generation”. They never stop to think to look at things through other people’s POVs. Maybe they know if they do they might how freakishly moronic they are.

7. Tweens – Proof that society is slowly degenerating. Out of all the age classes that don’t contribute to society they suck the most. Holding the arrogance of a teenager and the maturity of a child. Plus, their tastes in music increased the rate of suicides.

8. Old people – They smell funny and demand special treatment when it come to lines even if they can still stand on their own. Why should I respect them? Last I checked people were harping about how it was supposed to be earned. Having the fortune of your parents not using a condomĀ  50 years before mine doesn’t exactly qualify as earned respect.

9. Primetime variety shows and telenovelas – There should be a limit to the number of minutes actors and performers should be bawling their eyes out. Acting and entertainment are an art, there is so much more to its world than crying, surely. Are they incapable of any other emotion or facial expression other than screwing their face into ugly contortions of transparent grief over the most trivial things?

There you go. A quick list of the things that make me grind my teeth and curse the day any of you were born. I know the list is one short of ten but hey, I guess I’m just a nice guy.

The New Tiananmen

Posted in Gulo ng buhay with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 17, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

In an ill twist of fate the Pearl Square in the capital of Bahrain was subject to the most heavy-handed police crackdown in the country’s recent history.

In the early hours of the Bahrain morning thousands of police units swarmed the Pearl rotunda in the nation’s capital as protesters gathered in droves to demand a change in government. Inspired no doubt by the Egyptian overthrow of its long time leader Hosni Mubarak. However, instead of emulating the 18 day revolt Manama followed the path of the Chinese Tiananmen Square.

The vicious crackdown by police was so violent and chaotic that the scene could accurately be described as a war zone. With helicopters and ground units firing tear gas and assaulting the rallyists.

The evidence could be seen in the hospitals as hundreds upon hundreds of people flooded emergency rooms with dire injuries that could only have been sustained from weapons that could not be determined.

The violence came as a shock since as compared to their Egyptian counterparts the Bahraini protesters were mostly benign and peaceful with some even bringing their families with food and water.

So far three people have been confirmed dead with more gravely injured.

The King released a statement that he was deeply sorry for the death of the three Bahrainis which is like consolation from a mob boss after what’s happened.

Red Month

Posted in Gulo ng buhay with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 16, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

People call February the month of hearts and celebrate it by wearing red because red is the color of love and passion, well, it’s also the color of blood.

As people were fretting over the Grammys or Charice’s Monday concert a rock shattering event was relegated to the shadows of Cainta.

Last Monday (February 14, 2011) Valentines Day, four people were found dead in their home. A family of four, two of the victims were children aged 14 and 10. The bodies were discovered by neighbors because a trickle of blood seeped from a locked room where the bodies were hidden to under the front door.

It seems like a classic scene from a horror movie, victims using their blood to tell people what happened to them.

Senior Superintendent Manuel Prieto, Rizal police director, identified the victims as a certain Amado Asebar Sr., his wife Elizabeth, and children Amado Junior, 14, and Fritzie, 10.

This event has been tagged as the Cainta Massacre, or the Valentines Day Massacre.

The killer was Junjun Asebar, 24. He was the nephew of the senior Asebar

The suspect was arrested yesterday in Marinduque who confessed to killing the family because the wife of his uncle kept nagging him.

It’s a little disturbing that this topic trended on Yahoo at number sixth behind Patricia Bermudez, Kate Middleton, and Baker King. And that it was the only piece of real news on the top ten besides Taiwan.

In fact, there is so little attention on the case that I was hard put to find an appropriate picture to accompany this post (besides the one I have). Maybe it was because the police caught him so fast, or that only four victims were killed.

Or maybe an old video of a wedding proposal takes precedence over dying children. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Somebody remind me to get murdered in Thailand or Hong Kong so my death won’t be blocked by Jollibee proposing to Hetty Spaghetti.

Hong Kong Quest

Posted in Gulo ng buhay with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 15, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

Big news in the shadows today. Hong Kong will beginning its 25-day inquest into the August 23 Philippine hostage crisis. You know, that little incident where eight Chinese nationals were killed by an insane, poor excuse for a man, dip-shit police officer Rolando Mendoza.

After which the government conducted an investigation forming a special panel called the IIRC (I forget what it’s an acronym for) to find who was at fault and recommend appropriate punishments. Headed by DOJ Secretary De Lima, they kinda did their job recommending a lot of people to be punished from the DILG secretarie(s) all the way to PNP privates.

And it seemed like justice would be served but the President and his legal team got in the way and made adjustments to the first report. And by adjustments I mean completely dribbled it down making most everyone that mattered on that list safe from prejudice. It was a blatant fucking shield, there wasn’t any transparency in that, they were covering each others assess in the old as time tradition of cronyism. I know it, you know it, and Hong Kong sure as hell knows it.

That’s why their doing this inquest. More than a hundred witnesses were requested to testify including survivors, victim’s families, Hong Kong coronaries and Philippine officials. When they first invited the officials involved both the President and the DOJ secretary quickly expressed that those invited were not compelled to participate in the inquest and can deny invitation if they so desire. Pressing the option to the point that it was no mystery what they wanted those invited to do.

All of the Philippines officials denied the invitation. They really care about justice don’t they. To add insult to insult and injury De Lima stated that even if the inquest in Hong Kong provides findings different from the IIRC the IIRC version will be the one that will be held as true in the Philippines.

That’s a new one. I didn’t think truth could vary in political territories. And I’m not talking about cosmoligal, metaphysical, socio-religio mumbo jumbo. I’m talking simple bare-faced, blatant who’s accountable truth.

We really should put that bastard Mendoza in the history books, so we could spit on the dust from his bones for the next sixty years. And not the sissy fluid spit either, the phlegmy, yellowing, virus-filled loogie ones.

Valued values

Posted in Neurotics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on Pebrero 13, 2011 by Blue Dela Kanluran

The Egyptian people won its more than ten-day stand-off with the government and Angelo Reyes has been laid to rest with military honors. Not much of particular interest at the moment. So I’ll just rattle on about something that’s been bugging me for some time.

If you’ve watched any Disney film (actually any children’s film, television show, play, storybook in the history of the organized storytelling) one idea will be inextricably ingrained into your subconscious. Materials things are not as important as immaterial things.

Now, it’s hard for me to accept that values like wealth, and beauty are considered as “shallow” and relatively unimportant compared to say dignity, honor, principle.

It’s not as if those two values are less difficult to attain and maintain as compared to those of prestige.

Personally, I care very little for beauty and vanity as (unlike anger, and pride) I find it utterly useless. But at the same time it offers little to no offense and can thus (usually) be considered benign, except maybe for the cosmetically challenged who make up a vast majority of the human population. Inspired by envy their fragile psyches then concocted a brilliant defense mechanism in the form of the above mentioned unimportance of beauty.

As for wealth, it is always chanted that money isn’t everything but it is an inevitable fact that everything needs money. So it’s completely idiotic to think that money doesn’t hold at least a top three position in the world’s most important things list.

The funny thing is, people keep saying saying “Beauty is only skin deep”, and “Money isn’t everything” but has no one ever noticed that these two things are the most admired qualities in people of notice and they are also two of the most sought after qualities in the world. Everyone wants to be beautiful and everyone wants to be rich.

So why in hell’s name do we tell ourselves and and other people that they don’t matter?

Do me and yourself a favor. Unless you plan to be a pucker-eyed, bulbous nosed, crack lipped, frog skinned hag who smells like a baked shit cake without a centavo to his name then do not ever in any moment of your life degrade money or beauty.